confused...

I don't know what is actually happening in my life,what I am suffering through?Am I really important to anyone?I don't know.Is it depression or i am just overthinking?I really don't know if I am happy or sad.It just really hurts me a lot.Sometimes I want to talk to someone,cuddle,cry and spill it off whatever is there in my mind or whatever happens in my day to day life.Just 2 years left after that all is over.For me the most important thing is friends.I love my stupids.But I don't know.Should I enjoy this 2 years or should I make some distance so that it doesn't hurt me.Basically I cannot even imagine to ignore them.They are my idiots,my small family which I cannot leave because they makes me feel like nobody else do.But I want to tell them how much I love them.I donn't want to be late in this case because I don't want to loose them.love you and will alays do my idiots...